Our 8,200-Mile Trip, Part 3: The Gods of Speed, Scenery, and South Park
The drive out of the Bonneville Salt Flats is a transition. You leave a place where land speed records are shattered and re-enter a world governed by speed limits. We rolled into St. George, Utah, exhausted from the marathon drive across Nevada but buzzing with anticipation. The desert was behind us, and some of the most legendary landscapes in the country were ahead. It was time for the grand finale.
Zion, and the Road That Stole the Show
First up was Zion National Park. It’s magnificent. The scale of the canyon walls, carved by the Virgin River, makes you feel insignificant in the best possible way. The sheer verticality is something photos can’t capture. It’s a place of quiet, immense power. We took it all in, but Zion, as incredible as it was, turned out to be the opening act for the real star of the day.
Leaving the park, we turned onto Utah's Scenic Byway 12. This wasn't a national or state park; it was just... a road. And it was, without exaggeration, one of the single most incredible parts of our entire 8,200-mile trip.
Highway 12 is a 122-mile masterpiece of civil engineering and natural wonder. What made it so spectacular was the sheer diversity of the biomes it slices through. The drive began in the classic red rock desert, but as we climbed, the landscape morphed. We drove through lush, green alpine forests that felt like a different continent, then descended into sprawling, empty valleys. We navigated the famous "Hogsback," a narrow ridge of asphalt with terrifying, sheer drop-offs on both sides. At one point we were in a canyon, the next on a forested plateau. It was like driving through four different states in the span of a few hours.
After a very long day of sensory overload from both Zion and Highway 12, we made one last stop. By the time we rolled up to Arches National Park, the sun was low, the temperature was still hovering around 100 degrees, and the entrance was already closed for the day. We knew the park held breathtaking beauty, but we were spent. However, we are not above being deeply immature. We managed to get just close enough to snap a quick photo of a particular rock formation that looks suspiciously like a giant stone phallus. Mission accomplished. We retreated to Grand Junction, Colorado, for some much-needed rest.
Colorado, Pikes Peak, and a South Park Pilgrimage
We woke up in Grand Junction to the sound of rain. The plan was to drive to Pikes Peak, and the weather decided to come with us. The entire drive was through intense mountain storms, which, while stressful, was also an insane spectacle. Seeing thunderstorms rage over the Rocky Mountains is a humbling sight.
Along the way, we had to make a sacred pilgrimage. As huge fans of South Park, being in the area meant a mandatory stop in Fairplay, Colorado—the town that serves as the inspiration for the show. It’s a cool little mountain town, and the sense of being "in the place" was a surreal kick for us.
Nearing Pikes Peak, the rain continued. We made a couple of quick, kitschy stops. The first was a local rock shop, a classic roadside attraction. The second was the “North Pole” theme park. It was still wet and miserable, so we skipped the park itself but ducked into the gift shop. Our official review: if you’re in the area, don’t feel a need to stop. It was like if a Dollar Store decided to get really proud of itself and jack up the prices.
Finally, we reached the base of the Pikes Peak Highway. We met up with a friend for the ascent, and the gatekeeper gave us the news: the summit was technically closed due to the weather. The storms we had been driving through all day had dumped snow at the peak. But we hadn't driven thousands of miles to be defeated by a little snow.
The ascent was tense. The road was wet, the temperature was dropping, and we were on summer performance tires (a huge thank you to our sponsor, Continental, whose ExtremeContact Sport 02s held on heroically). We prioritized making it as far up as we could before conditions worsened. As we climbed, the rain turned to sleet, then to snow.
And then, we made it. The summit. The thermometer in the STi read 32°F. The wind was vicious, and the view was a wall of white fog. The famous summit gift shop was closed. But none of that mattered. We stood on top of the 14,115-foot peak, freezing and battered, but triumphant.
On the way down, as we dropped below the snow line, the weather broke for a moment. We pulled over to a scenic overlook and were hit with a dizzying view. It was also then that the altitude really hit us. A wave of lightheadedness served as a firm reminder that our bodies were not designed for this environment. It was time to get down the mountain.
My one critique of Pikes Peak? The price. It’s the only place we visited that charged per person, not per car. For our one car, taking up one parking spot, it felt a little bit like a shakedown. I understand the upkeep is expensive, but for what you pay, other parks in Colorado might offer more bang for your buck. Still, for the sheer automotive accomplishment, it was worth it.
The Long Road Home
We ended the day in Colorado Springs. From there, the adventure phase of the trip was over. It was time to get home. The next two days were a blur of pure, head-down driving—two 12-hour hauls across the country.
Our last night on the road was spent in St. Louis, Missouri. The next evening, 28 days after we left, we pulled back into the driveway in Charlotte.
The STi, with its missing tooth and moody sensor, was filthy but unbroken. We were exhausted, over-caffeinated, and profoundly changed. The dream of the ultimate road trip was no longer a dream. It was a collection of scars, stories, and 8,200 miles of proof that sometimes, the insane way is the only way to go.
Timelapse Video: The Grand Finale
Next Up: The Damage Report
The STi made it home, but the journey isn't over. An 8,200-mile torture test leaves its mark. In our upcoming final post of this series, we're putting the car on the lift for a full post-mortem. Did we truly get away with it, or are there hidden surprises waiting for us? Stay tuned for the final verdict on the true cost of an epic adventure.
